RICH Demands Reservation !!
RICH- Rich Influential Cosmopolitan Hindustanis- An association formed to safeguard the interests of the Rich and Very Rich of India has demanded that 5% of seats in Premiere Education Institutions like IITs and IIMs be Reserved for sons, daughters and other children of the members of RICH. Speaking at a press conference, Mr. Raj Malhotra, the Urbane hero of many Yash Chopra and Karan Johar Movies and the spokesperson for RICH pointed out the compelling reasons behind this demand.
According to Mr. Malhotra, RICH have always been an underprivileged lot; who have had horrible atrocities inflicted on them by the lower economic classes. They are forced to shop in malls and watch movies in Multiplexes because the shops and single theatres are jampacked by the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians. The members of RICH are forced to buy expensive cars because there is no space in the public transport such as buses. They are forced to go to the Discos and Pubs because the Desi Dance Bars Daroo Addas are filled with the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians. To add to that, they don’t serve Tequila and fail to provide other means of squandering money. Now, when a son or a daughter or the other children of RICH are forced to go to Pubs, Multiplexes, Malls etc., they ending up wasting so much time that they hardly have any time left to study. RICH claims that the drugs sold by the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians are a part of a terrible conspiracy whose sole purpose is to make sure that the RICH kids are always in a drug-induced haze and hence are unable to study.
When asked by Reporters that the RICH can afford to send their kids abroad or in worse situations start their own institutions like IIPM or AMITY so that their kids can become Gold Medalists without much Fuss, Mr. Malhotra was immediately on defensive. He tried to evade the questions just as members of RICH evaded taxes. However, RICH has yet to gain expertise in it. Mr. Malhotra proclaimed that they do not want to waste the country’s precious resources by starting their own institutions, when those resources could be put to better use, like designing RICH houses and opening more malls and pubs. What Mr. Malhotra failed to acknowledge was the unspoken fear that if RICH sent their kids abroad, they wont be RICH as compared to the Americans or the British.
RICH plans to start an SMS campaign to support their cause. They also plan to have Hunger strikes, wherein they will make the supreme sacrifice and stay off Subway and Pizza Hut and eat only home cooked food. In the spirit of Agitation, RICH members have promised to stay off spirits for the duration of the campaign. Coca-Cola has promised to sponsor the agitation by providing free Cokes and Kinley bottles to the agitators. Air-Conditioned Tents are being setup in front of all prominent Malls and Pubs so that the RICH can visit them whenever the need arises, or whenever the Page 3 Reporters are not there. Tremendous infrastructure is being provided to the agitators so that the business deals the kitty parties are not interrupted. Several prominent Beauty Saloons will be setting up kiosks in the Tents to cater to the martyrs. As Mr. Malhotra said, RICH are here to stay!
P.S -> The post is intended to be satirical and does not reflect my views regarding RICH. I, being a regular visitor to the Malls and Multiplexes, am not in a position to criticize the RICH for doing the same :).
According to Mr. Malhotra, RICH have always been an underprivileged lot; who have had horrible atrocities inflicted on them by the lower economic classes. They are forced to shop in malls and watch movies in Multiplexes because the shops and single theatres are jampacked by the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians. The members of RICH are forced to buy expensive cars because there is no space in the public transport such as buses. They are forced to go to the Discos and Pubs because the Desi Dance Bars Daroo Addas are filled with the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians. To add to that, they don’t serve Tequila and fail to provide other means of squandering money. Now, when a son or a daughter or the other children of RICH are forced to go to Pubs, Multiplexes, Malls etc., they ending up wasting so much time that they hardly have any time left to study. RICH claims that the drugs sold by the lesser-moneyed-poor-Indians are a part of a terrible conspiracy whose sole purpose is to make sure that the RICH kids are always in a drug-induced haze and hence are unable to study.
When asked by Reporters that the RICH can afford to send their kids abroad or in worse situations start their own institutions like IIPM or AMITY so that their kids can become Gold Medalists without much Fuss, Mr. Malhotra was immediately on defensive. He tried to evade the questions just as members of RICH evaded taxes. However, RICH has yet to gain expertise in it. Mr. Malhotra proclaimed that they do not want to waste the country’s precious resources by starting their own institutions, when those resources could be put to better use, like designing RICH houses and opening more malls and pubs. What Mr. Malhotra failed to acknowledge was the unspoken fear that if RICH sent their kids abroad, they wont be RICH as compared to the Americans or the British.
RICH plans to start an SMS campaign to support their cause. They also plan to have Hunger strikes, wherein they will make the supreme sacrifice and stay off Subway and Pizza Hut and eat only home cooked food. In the spirit of Agitation, RICH members have promised to stay off spirits for the duration of the campaign. Coca-Cola has promised to sponsor the agitation by providing free Cokes and Kinley bottles to the agitators. Air-Conditioned Tents are being setup in front of all prominent Malls and Pubs so that the RICH can visit them whenever the need arises, or whenever the Page 3 Reporters are not there. Tremendous infrastructure is being provided to the agitators so that the business deals the kitty parties are not interrupted. Several prominent Beauty Saloons will be setting up kiosks in the Tents to cater to the martyrs. As Mr. Malhotra said, RICH are here to stay!
P.S -> The post is intended to be satirical and does not reflect my views regarding RICH. I, being a regular visitor to the Malls and Multiplexes, am not in a position to criticize the RICH for doing the same :).
posted by Rahul Tamaskar at
11:44 AM
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